When Pizza Saves the Day

In what might be the most unexpected plot twist ever, your offer to share pizza with Larry and Martin has somehow led to the strangest friendship in criminal history.

It turns out that Larry and Martin aren’t really cut out for the burglary business. They’re just really, really bad at making good life choices. After spending an hour eating pizza and talking about your respective problems, you’ve all come to an understanding.

“You know, kid,” Larry says, carefully working around his loose tooth, “you’re alright. This is way better than our usual MO of running around in circles and hitting each other with tools.”

Martin nods enthusiastically while trying to get cheese out of his hair. “Yeah! And your traps are amazing! You should teach a class or something. ‘Home Defense 101: A Kid’s Guide to Creative Problem Solving.'”

When your parents return, they find you all watching movies and sharing popcorn. The explanation takes a while, but somehow they end up inviting Larry and Martin to stay for dinner after the guys promise to pursue more legitimate career paths.

“So let me get this straight,” your mom says. “You defeated the burglars… with friendship?”

“And really good pizza,” you add. “Never underestimate the power of really good pizza.”