The Legend of {{player_name}}

As the police lead away Larry and Martin (who are now more bruise than burglar), your family comes racing up the driveway. Apparently, Old Man Alfred called them after hearing all the commotion.

“{{player_name}}!” your mom shouts, running toward you. “Are you okay? We’re so sorry we left you! We’ll never—”

She stops mid-sentence as she takes in the scene. Paint cans hanging from the stairs, tar footprints throughout the house, Christmas ornaments crunching underfoot, and what appears to be feathers… everywhere.

“Sweetie,” your dad says slowly, “did you… defend our house… using household items and advanced physics?”

You grin. “Yep! And I saved money on pizza by negotiating with the burglars. Also, I think Axel (your tarantula) made some new friends. The police officers really liked him.”

Your parents exchange a look. It’s the look that says they’re simultaneously proud, horrified, and wondering how they managed to raise a tactical genius.

The neighborhood kids gather around as the story spreads. You’re no longer just {{player_name}} – you’re the kid who turned home alone time into an epic adventure and won.